I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
