i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
