i don't plan on having that self control this summer
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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