your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
