I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
