i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
