I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
