who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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