no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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