i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize