She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
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I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
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Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Two words: blizzard sex
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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