i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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