This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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