Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
