Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
What a dumb baby whore.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
