You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
