He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
