So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
