my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
