That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
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what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
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There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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