I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
