In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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