he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
