i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
