i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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