You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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