omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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