He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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