Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
