Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You're like the curious george of whores
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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