ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
