I want you more than these girls want KFC
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
