i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
