mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If its not for food we ain't going out.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
