I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
