Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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