So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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