like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
