So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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