My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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