he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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