white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
