Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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