my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize