She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
