rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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