Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize