ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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