I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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