pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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