I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
