and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
