im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
