Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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