Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize