Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I hate your face

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(518): View more from New York

i just had sex bonerless

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(316): View more from Kansas

Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair

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(406): View more from Montana

I need a leather bustier to keep them in.

(925): View more from California

Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.

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(208): View more from Idaho

She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.

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(256): View more from Alabama

She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.

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