I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
