i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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