there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
