Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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