woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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