if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
