guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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