There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
