I puked a lego.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
