your parents love me but you hate me
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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