I want to have your abortion
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
