why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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